Thursday, May 10

The Carpenter's Letter

Mr. Apple ashore.
 The following is a letter that Mr Apple, the ship's carpenter has requested that I transcribe and send to the Admiralty:

"Dear Sirs,

It has been a month since my last post, I have been a good friend to His Majesty's Ships keeping them in good order and having said that I feel very low when I am alone at Sea. Without my current wife I have thought of dressing our boatswain Mr. Cullen up in my last wife's dress and apron. But I implore you kind sirs as I value my position. It is a sickness kind fellows and I wish you to help me before this kills me and they find me dead in my cabin.

Yrs &c.,
Jas. Apple
Ship's Carpenter
HMS Acasta"

While I can certainly appreciate Mr Apple's desire for company of the fairer sex, I do not think the Admiralty would take kindly to his crude petition and familiar tone. I can not, in all good conscience, post such a letter.

1 comment:

  1. Indeed. I am led to believe that insolence does not go over well at Whitehall.